Daze Upon Daze
The past few weeks have been a little nutty around here. We lost G on May 24. She went peacefully. While you cannot consider the situation a tragedy as she was 104 years, we're left with an emptiness that's going to be slow to fill. Mika made coping possible. Just when I think it would be impossible to love or appreciate her any more than we do, something happens and Daddy's and my love for Mika intensifies. I would have been seriously lost without Mika grounding me during all of this. We have so many stories to share with Mika about her Great-Great Grandma that it will almost be like having G around. There's a lot of G in me and the way that I do things and think about the world can also be very G like. In most of my relatives, you can see aspects of G as well. Put Mika's Grandpa in a hospital and watch the G in him emerge!
G planned and paid for her funeral almost 20 years ago, which made things very easy for my aunt's wrt planning. G went so far as to purchase the flowers for her casket! I can't stress it enough that every last aspect had been prepaid years ago. Smart thing to do, really.
And then there's that thing about funerals. You know, where you get to see friends and family that you've lost touch with over the years. There were some nice moments where people put aside their differences for the sake of honoring G, but also some stupid crap, like family infighting and just plain nonsense....people amaze me. Anyway, it was really nice to catch up and introduce Mika to the few friends and fam that hadn't met her. Mika provided that much needed emotional buffer for people as we exited the chapel after the service. My American second cousin whom I hadn't met until the day of the funeral photo journaled the entire event. Entire. Event. For some reason, I'm still slightly disturbed by this, even though I can't think of a good reason to be. Being asked to pose beside G's casket was surreal. Being asked after the fact if I wanted a photo of G lying in her casket was a little odd too (sorry Dad! I know they're not your photos). Finally someone got me with the whole shock value thing. I'm accustomed to being the morbid weirdo who loves nothing more than talking trash or whatever to get a reaction. Usually other people's attempts at the same don't phase me. Not this time!!
On Slayer Day (06/06/06), I had my gall bladder removed. Was not a big deal except that my drain was gushing so they had to keep me overnight. Narcotics make me ill and I also had that morphine itch going on pretty badly. Then it was discovered that I was reacting and blistering from the tape used on the incisions. Whee!! I was as livid as someone on morphine can be about not being able to head home and be with Mika. Not that I am allowed to lift her or anything, but still. Daddy said that Mika went around the house looking for me...expecting to find me around each corner. :(
She did come to visit in the evening, but was mostly freaking out..pulling on my IV, squeezing the drain grenade, and trying to climb on my tummy. She loves me. Daddy said that his evening alone with her went really well. I managed to escape the hospital before breakfast was served the next day. Having a drain tube pulled out of your side is one of the coolest feelings ever! I only wanted to miss 4 days of work, but am on day 7 here due to the slight complications. I'm heading to see a doc today for a final checkout and the OK to head back to the office tomorrow. It's been wild not being able to pick up Mika, not being able to play my part in the bedtime routine, etc. Mika is forgiving though and comes over to share some love in the form of hugs, kisses, or pats on the back every few minutes. While in my narco fogs on the couch, Mika would bring me all sorts of toys. In fact, she pretty much buried me in toys.
Mika is looking less like a drunken sailor these days. The land legs are coming along just fine. Her vocabulary is still exploding, but we can't understand what she's saying most of the time. Mika's preferred toys are balls and cars/trucks. She likes to argue with me that a truck is, in fact, a car. Daddy has taught Mika to *throw* balls, which is, uh, fun. We have a giant inflatable globe that she loves. She also loves her purple ball, soccer ball, beach ball, juggling balls, seizure-inducing strobing ball, and the fisher-price roll-around balls with the funky designs and such inside of them. Mika favorite car is a little matchbox style red punchbuggy painted up hippy style with mushrooms and such. I think second to that is her big dump truck (aka Car). Mika also discovered that shape sorting is for suckers and just breaks the doors off her barn shape sorter to get the pieces in. Same with the shape sorting cylinder. She pulls the lid off, puts everything inside, and looks at me like I am an idiot for wasting my time trying to put the shapes through the correct cutouts.
Dress-up is becoming a fast fave too, I think. Mika constantly tries to wear my shoes. We have a pair of her next-size-up ones in her play area for her too. Mika loves to put hats and glasses on, but only if someone is there to notice and coo at her. It's all about hamming. This is probably a bad thing, but I let her choose her own colours when it comes to clothing now too. We were picking up a UV suit a few weeks ago and Mika very obviously wanted the hot pink, not the baby blue. Mika will almost always selects a pink item over anything else....pink!! a pink princess!!! What am I to do? Send her off to live with her Grandma? My mom cured me of ever wanting to wear anything pink or girly..maybe it will work for Mika too!! ;)
Daddy had a birthday this past weekend. We went over to Nana's for lunch and Mika had run of the house. Mika "Can Do No Wrong in Nana's Eyes" Thompson was loving it. She raced around upstairs, raced around downstairs, jammed on her drum set, raced around outside. There were things floating in the pool and her highness would not set foot into it. Just a couple of down on their luck flies and such, but too dirty for Mika.
We headed home, Daddy bbq'd, watched the hockey game, and called it a day.
Mika is still a loner at school (daycare). She's mostly interested in the adults, not the other kids. I think thats fairly normal. We went to a pancake breakfast that they held the other day. Was a cute event..all the older kids acting as ushers and such. I couldn't eat, mind you, and was floating in narco fog (nice way to show up at your kids daycare, eh? Hopped up on t3's), but Daddy enjoyed the pancakes. There was a bake sale when we returned to pick up Mika..yum. These were the first things we have participated in since Mika started. No, wait..I gave them pictures to make a family tree for Mika with. You see, Daddy is not always the best messenger. So when the school leaves notes in the kids' cubby's saying things like "Next week is Colour week. Please try and dress your child in the following colours for each day: Monday - Red, etc.", I don't usually see the notes, Mika goes to school dressed in whatever, I find out a week later about it and feel like a jerk. We're getting better. Honest.
G planned and paid for her funeral almost 20 years ago, which made things very easy for my aunt's wrt planning. G went so far as to purchase the flowers for her casket! I can't stress it enough that every last aspect had been prepaid years ago. Smart thing to do, really.
And then there's that thing about funerals. You know, where you get to see friends and family that you've lost touch with over the years. There were some nice moments where people put aside their differences for the sake of honoring G, but also some stupid crap, like family infighting and just plain nonsense.
On Slayer Day (06/06/06), I had my gall bladder removed. Was not a big deal except that my drain was gushing so they had to keep me overnight. Narcotics make me ill and I also had that morphine itch going on pretty badly. Then it was discovered that I was reacting and blistering from the tape used on the incisions. Whee!! I was as livid as someone on morphine can be about not being able to head home and be with Mika. Not that I am allowed to lift her or anything, but still. Daddy said that Mika went around the house looking for me...expecting to find me around each corner. :(
She did come to visit in the evening, but was mostly freaking out..pulling on my IV, squeezing the drain grenade, and trying to climb on my tummy. She loves me. Daddy said that his evening alone with her went really well. I managed to escape the hospital before breakfast was served the next day. Having a drain tube pulled out of your side is one of the coolest feelings ever! I only wanted to miss 4 days of work, but am on day 7 here due to the slight complications. I'm heading to see a doc today for a final checkout and the OK to head back to the office tomorrow. It's been wild not being able to pick up Mika, not being able to play my part in the bedtime routine, etc. Mika is forgiving though and comes over to share some love in the form of hugs, kisses, or pats on the back every few minutes. While in my narco fogs on the couch, Mika would bring me all sorts of toys. In fact, she pretty much buried me in toys.
Mika is looking less like a drunken sailor these days. The land legs are coming along just fine. Her vocabulary is still exploding, but we can't understand what she's saying most of the time. Mika's preferred toys are balls and cars/trucks. She likes to argue with me that a truck is, in fact, a car. Daddy has taught Mika to *throw* balls, which is, uh, fun. We have a giant inflatable globe that she loves. She also loves her purple ball, soccer ball, beach ball, juggling balls, seizure-inducing strobing ball, and the fisher-price roll-around balls with the funky designs and such inside of them. Mika favorite car is a little matchbox style red punchbuggy painted up hippy style with mushrooms and such. I think second to that is her big dump truck (aka Car). Mika also discovered that shape sorting is for suckers and just breaks the doors off her barn shape sorter to get the pieces in. Same with the shape sorting cylinder. She pulls the lid off, puts everything inside, and looks at me like I am an idiot for wasting my time trying to put the shapes through the correct cutouts.
Dress-up is becoming a fast fave too, I think. Mika constantly tries to wear my shoes. We have a pair of her next-size-up ones in her play area for her too. Mika loves to put hats and glasses on, but only if someone is there to notice and coo at her. It's all about hamming. This is probably a bad thing, but I let her choose her own colours when it comes to clothing now too. We were picking up a UV suit a few weeks ago and Mika very obviously wanted the hot pink, not the baby blue. Mika will almost always selects a pink item over anything else.
Daddy had a birthday this past weekend. We went over to Nana's for lunch and Mika had run of the house. Mika "Can Do No Wrong in Nana's Eyes" Thompson was loving it. She raced around upstairs, raced around downstairs, jammed on her drum set, raced around outside. There were things floating in the pool and her highness would not set foot into it. Just a couple of down on their luck flies and such, but too dirty for Mika.
We headed home, Daddy bbq'd, watched the hockey game, and called it a day.
Mika is still a loner at school (daycare). She's mostly interested in the adults, not the other kids. I think thats fairly normal. We went to a pancake breakfast that they held the other day. Was a cute event..all the older kids acting as ushers and such. I couldn't eat, mind you, and was floating in narco fog (nice way to show up at your kids daycare, eh? Hopped up on t3's), but Daddy enjoyed the pancakes. There was a bake sale when we returned to pick up Mika..yum. These were the first things we have participated in since Mika started. No, wait..I gave them pictures to make a family tree for Mika with. You see, Daddy is not always the best messenger. So when the school leaves notes in the kids' cubby's saying things like "Next week is Colour week. Please try and dress your child in the following colours for each day: Monday - Red, etc.", I don't usually see the notes, Mika goes to school dressed in whatever, I find out a week later about it and feel like a jerk. We're getting better. Honest.
1 Comments:
Ugh, you've had quite the couple weeks. My condolences on your loss. I'm so sorry. No matter how old or sick someone is, it's still hard to let them go. Hold tight to the memories. Someday you will have lots of stories to tell Mika.
Also, I hope you heal quickly from your surgery and are back to your old self soon!
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